Thursday, February 15, 2007

Letters and Embassies

Stollen

By order of Their Graces Guntram and Sieglinde Blauerwolf, the bearer of this message, Major Rudel, has been directed to deliver unto His Grace the Grand Duke and Her Grace the Grand Duchess a wagonload of warm goat's hair quilts for this present winter season as thanks for His Grace's kind words.

Ludwig Strasser
Social Secretary for Thursdays

Electorate of Vulgaria

An emissary in fine gray attire, marked by a deep blue sash bearing the coat of arms of Hesse-Engelburg and edged in silver, has crossed the borders of Vulgaria bearing the following letter.

By order of Their Graces, it is the priveledge of the bearer of this message, Colonel Freidrich von Heiner, to represent Their Graces in good faith talks regarding the establishment of embassies in our dominions. Their Graces do send to the Elector seven wedges of goat cheese in the hopes that his table will be made more pleasant by the addition of these delicacies.

Principality of Saxe-Bearstein

The Principality of Hesse-Engelburg doth extend its warm greetings unto the Principality of Saxe-Bearstein, and an invitation to discuss the possible hiring of a small company of the well-respected army of Saxe-Bearstein for the purpose of providing training unto the newly forming army of Their Graces. The bearer of this message, Colonel von Platzen, is empowered to undertake discussion of the same. In token of friendship, Colonel von Platzen bears with him a supply of fine quality Hesse-Engelburg goats milk, for the provision of those who by reason of age or soft stomach are unable to imbibe the well-reputed beverages of Saxe-Bearstein.

Kingdom of Wittenberg

Their Graces Guntram and Sieglinde Blauerwolf, rightful rulers of Hesse-Engelburg, do extend to His Majesty Leopold IV, King of Wittenberg, their grateful thanks for his offer of friendship and assurances. It is hoped that His Majesty will find the accompanying cheeses and wine to his liking.

Ludwig Strasser
Social Secretary for Thursdays

France

Unto His Royal Majesty the King of France, greetings.

Their Graces Guntram and Sieglinde Blauerwolf, rightful rulers of Hesse-Engelburg, have desired me to convey unto Your Majesty their concern regarding a force of three French gendarmes captured while illegally crossing the border of this Principality a fortnight hence. It is the wish of Their Graces that I should enquire whether this force was attempting an invasion of our peaceful Principality, or are in fact deserters fleeing their Sovereign. Should it be indeed the latter case, Their Graces extend their offer to arrange the execution of the miscreants by public hanging as a token of their peaceful intent.

Helga Freitag
Under-Secretary for Minor Matters on Even Numbered Months

4 comments:

Bluebear Jeff said...

Prince Bruno V, the ruler of the Principality of Saxe-Bearstein welcomes Colonel von Platzen as an emmisary of Hesse-Engelburg.

He has decided to temporarily loan you the services of one of his Brigadiers to aid your attempts to establish a system for training your troops.

Therefore, Brig. Gen. Fritz von Hoptz will be directed to accompany a wagonload of beer barrels as a gift to the rulers of your Principality.

By the way, do not believe von Hoptz if he should claim that we sent less than four barrels . . . there should be four full barrels (we are actually sending six . . . but we know that the exigencies of the road may deminish this number).

We are informing the good Brigadier that we have (by separate means) let you know to expect four FULL barrels.

Her Grace also wishes to thank you for the lovely goat's milk.

Bluebear Jeff said...

By the way, I love the titles you've given some of the staff members of your rulers.


-- Jeff

Snickering Corpses said...

Thanks, Jeff. I especially liked the last one, to hand correspondence with the French off to a title that emphasized that dealing with the French was an insignificant matter. :>

Grand Duchy of Stollen 1768 said...

The Grand Duke and Duchess wish to express their gratitude for the goats hair quilts, which will come in handy following future ducal ski tours here in The Grand Duchy of Stollen.

It is The Grand Duke's urgent wish to establish diplomatic relations with Hesse-Engelburg forthwith in the hope of establishing amutally beneficial flow of trade and people.

Pray, what is the local currency in Hesse-Engelburg? What natural and/or man-made resources have you to trade with Stollen?

Sincerest Regards,

Johannes P. Flickenhoffer
Personal Assitant to The Grand Duke Irwin Amadeus II